#like yes it only results in her death once (obviously)

[acourtofchaos]

I CAN SMELL YOUR SICKNESS | Assassin!Theodore Nott x Assassin!Reader

Summary: He didn't know why you'd chosen him of all people to toy with, turning your work into a twisted game, a deadly chase, but he would make sure that you knew it was the worst mistake you had ever made. [5.8k]

C/W: 18+. Violence. Murder. Rough sex. Piv. Blowjob. Dirty talk. Dacryphilia. Biting. Angry and obsessive Theo. Kind of batshit crazy reader (i love her). Kind of cheating - its mentioned theo has a wife but its a for show kind of marriage.

A/N: did i fall in love with both theo and the reader whilst writing this??? yes i did 🤭

Theo thrived on order.

His entire life was compartmentalised, his home, his work - his other work.

There was a reassurance that calmed him knowing that the lines would never blur, that he'd gotten far too good at what he did to ever let them, that every kill he made was quick and neat, flawless. Beautifully untraceable.

He never got more involved than was necessary, not when he had perfected the art of sweeping in like a ghost and disappearing just as quick. Only ever leaving behind a dead body and a perfectly curated set-up to point to what was, quite obviously, a mere tragic accident and absolutely not the result of anything far more sinister.

But you.

God help him, you were the personification of mess. A savage storm raging between tissue and bone, a waking fucking nightmare, a harbinger of death in its most brutal form.

You thrived on chaos and it curled around you like smoke, like the inky spill of pitch black night, seeping into the crisp, clean edges of Theo's life the same way you seeped into his mind. Beneath his skin and into his bloodstream, spreading, festering, like an infection.

He'd never wanted someone to kill someone like he yearned to kill you, to feel the hot splash of your blood stain his hands and watch with some viciously rooted, fucked up delight as that ever taunting smile dropped from your lips.

He didn't know why you'd chosen him of all people to toy with, turning your work into a twisted game, a deadly chase, but he would make sure you knew it was the worst mistake you had ever made before the light faded from your eyes.

****

When another name appeared before him, his mind was still silently reeling from your first encounter.

The bold ruthlessness of your kill, the playful glint in your eyes when you'd turned and found him watching with his gun aimed at your blood spattered chest. The soft, threatening purr of your voice.

He'd mistaken you for the victim’s companion, a soon to be unfortunate in a ‘terrible mugging gone wrong’, his lip curling in disgust when he’d followed the two of you into an alley at the back of a seedy club and watched as the man had groped at you. Shoving his tongue gracelessly inside your mouth whilst you'd moaned, loud and dramatic.

But then a wicked flash had caught his eye and he’d froze, faintly stunned as you’d pushed the man back, twin daggers in your hands that you crossed at his throat before slashing them down with a dramatic flourish.

He'd watched in disbelief whilst you observed the thud of slack limbs hitting the floor with a dark, gleaming satisfaction.

And even when you had elegantly stepped over the body, avoiding the blood that crept over the ground close to your feet, and caught sight of him standing there, that look had never once faltered.

Instead you had smiled, sticky sweet and pretty as sin.

“Theodore, I assume?” You’d murmured silkily, grinning when those cold eyes of his narrowed, his body stiffening. Finger twitching over the trigger. “Fancy being a sweetheart and cleaning that up? I have somewhere to be and it would be poor manners to show up all bloody, don't you think?"

What. the. fuck.

His mind had raced, tongue turning to lead in his mouth as you’d winked at him.

The fucking nerve of you.

The stupidity.

You’d just killed someone in front of a witness, revealed yourself as a threat to a man with a gun aimed on you, how had you not realised he was seconds from putting a bullet through that gorgeous skull?

He just needed to sate the violent screeching of alarm bells in his head first. The itch of worry beneath his skin that if he was compromised, were the others too?

Were they in danger? Were you here to kill him and then his friends, his strange little family?

"Who are you? He'd hissed, large hands caging your delicate wrists when he'd struck, swift as an arrow, and slammed you into the wall. “How the fuck do you know my name?”

You should have fought back, that was his first thought, but your blood soaked blades had remained dangling in a hold that was barely there, let alone tense enough to fight.

Then he thought there should have been at least some hint of fear, that your pupils should have dilated or your skin should have trembled even lightly beneath the imposing weight of his body pressing you into the cold, damp brick.

But instead, you’d only smiled wider. Leant in close enough for your nose to nudge at the sharp curve of his jaw, a sly grin tugging at your lips when he swallowed harshly.

"Oh Teddy, I know all about you and your little team. I have to know who my competition is after all."

In his surprise you had slipped away from him, disappeared into the night like smoke on the wind and he'd been forced to make the call only seconds later to put his entire team on finding out who you were.

Yet, infuriatingly, he was still no closer to that little discovery.

You hadn't resurfaced since and there had been no physical evidence to find, no sign or hint you existed, not even a whisper, and Theo was pretty sure that his team thought he was losing it.

That the years of being the emotional equivalent of a black hole had left his sanity fragile, as crackable at a moment's notice as an eggshell from the crushing weight of everything he had done teetering on top of it.

But there was no way in hell he was hallucinating you, as much as it may have felt like you were his own personal demon risen from the pits of a hell he didn't believe in to torment him.

Not even his head was that fucked up.

Only just enough, he supposed, for him to be thankful for the distraction when the next slip of paper came through, another unsuspecting name printed in weathered ink that he barely glanced at before reaching for his laptop and doing a little research. Booking a flight to Barcelona– Pansy would be jealous – next day return.

He never took time to explore places after his work like some of the others did, didn't like to linger where he killed, but at least it was a chance to get you out of his head for a day or two. To work some of that frustrated energy that he'd been carrying around out on a kill.

He was almost looking forward to it.

But then the first postcard shortly followed.

It arrived at his desk without fuss, no explanation or sender information. Just his name, the address of his work and a single sentence written on the back of a picture of La Sagrada Família.

See you soon.

****

Four postcards were in his hand at the end, pointing to Spain, France, Italy and England.

A game of cat and mouse played across each country a member of his team called home that had gradually caused Theo’s ironclad control to slip.

He was furious, caring less and less about the target with each destination, each taunting sentence scrawled across a creamy card staring back at him as he grew steadily more unhinged.

See you soon.

Too slow, handsome, try to keep up.

I feel like you're not even trying, Teddy bear.

And finally;

The name of a hotel and a room number in central London, followed by a cheeky don't keep me waiting.

He saw red then, brilliant bursts of crimson, hellish scorches of black.

The cards were crumpled in his grip, ruined in the agonisingly tight fist of his hand because the only way he could fucking breathe through the fury whipping around inside him was by imagining it was your throat, your delicate skin he was crushing beneath his fingertips.

And when he stalked out into the night, his blood bubbling in his veins and teeth grinding almost painfully, he told himself you would be dead by the end of it. Reduced to nothing more than a fleeting nuisance in his life that he intended to eradicate.

He didn't need to know who you were or how you know the things that you did to put a single bullet in that pretty little head.

All he needed was the rage soaring to a new, deadly height inside of him and the knowledge that he fucking despised you.

****

The hotel was all bright marble and low lighting, lavish furniture that didn't look comfortable in the slightest, elegant statues that probably should have been in an museum instead of some reception, and he wanted to roll his eyes at the fact you would lure him somewhere like here.

Of course you couldn't just go for somewhere quiet or understated, somewhere there was no risk of drawing attention.

It forced him to wonder if you'd had a hand in the target's wearabouts all along, plucking the strings like a puppet master to position both her and Theo the way you wanted them. In all the places you could use to burrow under his skin that little bit more.

He had to admit there was a relentlessness to you that he would have admired if things had been different. A dedication without rival in anyone he knew or even Theo himself.

You must have spent ages implanting yourself in the targets life to pull this off. To remain so close the entire time and hold so much sway as to where she went, where she stayed, ate, leisured, and it reminded him of the night he met you.

The way you had let that mark get so close, smearing unworthy kisses over your perfect skin, amateurish hands grabbing at you sloppily before you’d eventually torn him open.

Did you get that close to all of them?

Did they all get to kiss the tempting swell of your lips, lick the taste of chaos and death from your mouth and feel the dizzying press of your body against theirs.

Fuck, he needed to get it together.

He tasted the familiar, copper tang of his own blood where his teeth had scored the thick of his tongue and it was enough to snap him out of the debauched fantasy that plagued him and back into the cold, sharp sting of reality.

It wasn't his place to be jealous of who you fucked.

In fact, it opened up a pit of violent disgust in his stomach that he had even thought about it, that he'd imagined himself in a faceless person's place whilst fisting his throbbing cock at the thought of hearing you moan his name.

At least he had only done it once.

Twice.

Fine, it had become a major problem that everytime he touched himself he thought of you. That everytime he closed his eyes, he pictured you beneath him. Above him. Curled so tightly around him it was impossible to tell where one of you began and the other ended.

It was a temporary insanity.

He'd deal with it.

But when he finally reached the room, you were ready for him in a way that he could never replicate. The sight of you always a shock to the system, a debilitating blow to the gut whilst you were the absolute picture of calm, smug elegance.

Wrapped in a crisp, unbuttoned white shirt tucked into dark pants and hair strewn over the side of the plush armchair you were sprawled across.

There was a glass of whiskey in one hand and one of your daggers in the other, the blade dancing effortlessly around your nimble fingers whilst your eyes gleamed as you watched him over the rim of your glass.

His gun was aimed at you in seconds and a slow, feral grin spread across your lips at the sight.

"I take it you didn't appreciate the little trail of breadcrumbs I left for you then." You sighed, all faux heartbreak and wounded misery, pouting at him mockingly before your tinkling laugh echoed through the silence of the room.

He fucking hated it.

Hated the way it set his blood aflame and made his slacks that much tighter as his gaze on you snapped hot with rage.

"I don't appreciate you fucking with my work." He snarled, taking a single, intimidating step closer. "I don't know why you dragged me here, why you didn't just kill the target when you first caught up to her, why you chose to play this twisted fucking game with me but you're about to regret all of it."

You rolled your eyes then, swung your legs elegantly from the arm of the chair and dropped them to the ground as you leaned towards him. Placing the glass and the dagger on the floor before shrugging like it was all so obvious.

"I wanted to see if you'd follow."

Theo blinked at you.

"What the fuck is that supposed to mean."

"You said it yourself." You answered slowly, gaze calculated, glinting with something that made his fingers itch to pull the trigger just so he wouldn't have to hear what you said next. "I could have killed her in Spain and again in France, Italy was more of a holiday, you know you should really check in with your family more, but anyway, you knew I had got there first every single time yet still you followed the cards. Why?"

Theo couldn't answer.

At least he couldn't with anything he would ever fucking admit, he'd rather shoot himself first. But he was obsessed, there was no denying it.

It was as blatant as a pistol whip across the face, the deep slice of a knife from sternum to navel, cleaving him raw and bloody in the sick truth of it.

It had never been about finding the mark and completing the job, it had always been about finding you and fuck, did the realisation make the hate he felt flood his tongue, thick and bitter as poison.

He hissed. "I followed only for the pleasure of putting you down. Nothing more."

Your smile was indulgent when you arched a brow at him, eyes glittering with amusement as you slipped from the chair and slowly stalked towards him.

It felt like there was an alarm screeching in his brain, the word danger flashing over and over in bright neon fucking light, and still all he did was watch you creep closer. Watched you lift your hands to where his were clasped around his gun, stroking his skin and making him shudder before taking one final step and raising your joint hands to press the gun to your own forehead.

"Go right ahead." You taunted softly. "This is the second time you've had a gun pointed at me, told me your cute little fantasy of putting a bullet in me, but honestly Teddy, I'm really starting to doubt your commitment."

He felt the surprise slacken his face before he could stop it, his suspicious gaze flickering over your features, trying to figure out what the game it was you were playing before it narrowed further.

"What have you done with her? The target." He bit out and you smirked.

Fucking. Smirked.

"Dead, just moments before you arrived actually.” You answered mildy, innocently, as if you were telling him something mundane, like how it would rain tomorrow, and not that you had murdered someone. “So I guess either you kill me now or your entire trip has been for nothing."

There was a beat of silence.

A sharp breath.

And then Theo exploded.

****

He didn’t even consider shooting you after that, he just lunged like some kind of vicious beast, burning dark and wild with the need to tear you apart with his own hands.

And only then did you suddenly burst violently to life.

The second he slammed you against the wall your teeth were bared, a flash of perfect bone white ready to be sunken in deep and turned red, your head rearing back before you smashed it forward into his face and made him reel back as he temporarily saw stars.

His fist collided with your jaw before you could duck around him and you hissed like a rabid animal, dodging the next swing and kicking him savagely in the gut when he tried to fly for you again.

Despite his body fighting to double over on itself he managed to work through it and catch you around the waist, swinging you hard into a solid wood cabinet that buried its edges into your side and punched the air from your chest with the pain that exploded through you.

Taking advantage of your dazed state he surged forward then, shoving you back against the wall and slipping a hand to your throat to crush your windpipe like he'd imagined.

But then something changed.

He didn’t know how nor did he know who moved first, all he knew was that your eyes blew wide the instant his fingers squeezed your neck and then his mouth was slamming down against yours in a furious kiss. That when you moaned hot into his mouth, Theo was fucking done for.

He sunk his teeth into the tender give of your lip and sucked at the iron tang of your blood, shoving his tongue deep into the cavern of your mouth to brush with yours over and over.

It felt like he'd been starving his whole life and he'd only just realised when he'd tasted you, the desperation burning away at him endlessly, like he would die of it if he didn’t swallow every last part of you down, possess you in every single way he could think of.

Had already thought of, if his many fantasies whilst he fucked his own hand picturing you were anything to go by.

His hands tore at your clothes, ripping the fabric as the buttons went clattering to the floor and then his eyes went wide, his breath hitching as you threw him off you.

There was something predatory in the way you moved after him, features shadowed in hunger when you knotted your fingers in his shirt to wrench him around and shove him up against the vanity.

He didn't have time to spit curses at the satisfied grin you gave him when the mirror splintered at his back, shards falling from the frame to clatter near his splayed hands, not when you were on him again in seconds.

Lips demanding in a kiss that was all frenzied desire and little softness, another kind of fight whilst your fingers buried in his hair and pulled meanly.

The bright spark of pain caused his neck to arch back, made his cock throb painfully behind the restrictive press of his zipper, and then his hands were snatching at your waist, sliding roughly down to grab at your arse and hauling your hips against him. Grinding into you whilst you mouthed bruises across his jaw and down the muscular line of his throat that drove him wild.

He was fucking lost to the fever you had lit in his blood, delirious almost as it crept through every part of him, scorching. Branding.

Theo let you peel the shirt from his chest, a ragged groan working its way out of his throat when you raked your nails down his stomach.

"Fuck." He exhaled roughly, abs tensing and his hips lurching when you repeated the action before sinking to your knees with a sly grin.

"Is this what you wanted, Theodore? Just needed someone to suck the stress right out of you?” You cooed, a patronising thing that set his teeth on edge. “You could have just asked instead of trying to kill me, baby, no need to choose the boring option."

Even on your knees you were still fucking teasing him, still being cheeky with that sharp tongue of yours and it made him want to lunge for you again. Made him want to throw you on the bed, flip you on to your knees and shove your face into the sheets and teach you a lesson as he drove mercilessly into your dripping cunt until you couldn't fucking speak. Voice broken from screaming for him.

But then you were sliding his zipper down, reaching inside his boxers to free his thick length, and all that escaped him was a softly hissed. "Fuck you."

You chuckled low in your throat, peering up at him coyly from beneath your lashes as you pumped him infuriatingly slow.

"Oh you will, but first–"

He groaned when you flattened your tongue and dragged a wet line up the underneath of his cock to his tip, thighs twitching when you took him into the soft heat of your mouth.

Theo's eyes never left your face, not for second, not that he could have even remembered how to when he was pretty fucking sure you were trying to kill him slowly.

The image of you was seared in his mind, doe eyes staring up at him so sweetly, those perfect lips wrapped around him. Lashes fluttering as you took more and more until your nose nudged the soft curls at the base of him.

Fuck.

He pulsed on your tongue and you moaned around him, the vibration sending a sharp bolt of pleasure slashing down his spine and making him crack that little bit more.

One of his hands shot out to fist at your hair, grasping tight as his hips stuttered and he could barely wait for your subtle nod, slack-jawed and panting, before he was yanking himself back only to thrust his cock back down the soft cushion of your throat the very next second.

You gagged and the wet sound of it echoed around the room, a rabid noise wrenched from his chest when you ripped his slacks down further and sank your nails into his arse to pull him into you.

It sent him careening into a frenzy, snapping his hips against your face and cursing hotly as his length surged in and out of your mouth, harder than he'd ever been in his life and shining wet with your spit.

"You look so fucking pretty like this." He praised roughly, thrusts growing harsh as you hummed around him, pleased. "Taking my cock so well– shit– so fucking perfect– gonna fill that pretty little mouth up and watch you swallow every last drop."

You sucked at him harder, traced the thick veins and ridges with your tongue before burying him deep in your throat and every little part of him that was bunched up tight, all that tension and stoicism that he carried, knotted and stiff in his head and his chest, fucking unravelled.

His stomach muscles clamped down and his orgasm ripped through him, white hot and blinding, hips stuttering as he spilled down your throat for what felt like an eternity before he slipped from your mouth and pulled back to stare at you dazedly.

You looked an absolute mess. A gorgeous wreck with spit-slick, swollen lips from his mouth and cock, your shirt torn open, black lace bra on display, courtesy of his desperate hands, and it all stirred something possessive in Theo’s blood.

Something that had him yanking you back to your feet so he could reclaim your mouth with his, burying the overwhelming feeling by feeding it to his lust and pushing it into you anyway he could.

"Theo." You breathed, needy and wanting, and it killed him to realise he was addicted to his name on your tongue. That it took an unnatural amount of willpower not to command you to say it again. "Wanna feel you, want you to fuck me."

He was tearing at your pants before you could even finish. Ripping them from you along with your pretty, lace underwear, damp from how badly you needed him, and pulling the tattered remains of your shirt from your torso before ridding you of your bra.

You dragged him with you until your back hit the wall, hooking a leg around his hip to pull him into you and he got the hint. His fingers burrowing into the plush backs of your thighs and then both your legs were wound around him. Body caught between cold marble and the flushed heat of his chest and he groaned when his cock slipped against your warm cunt.

He wrapped an arm tight around your waist and buried his free hand between you, sweeping the pads of his fingers over your soaked slit and grinning something dark, more than a little depraved. “Poor little thing, so desperate for my cock aren't you, what makes you think you deserve it, dolcezza?"

You snarled at him then, any sweetness evaporating and the first flash of your anger breaking through that air of superiority you'd held since he'd walked in the room.

He relished it, lapped it up like the sweetest victory, eyes dark on yours, unyielding, as you ground your teeth in frustration.

"How about the fact that I just sucked your dick better than I bet that little doll of a wife of yours has ever been able to." You spat and he immediately tore his hand away from your aching cunt to deliver a sharp slap across your arse.

It made you choke down a moan, defiant, eyes blazing and breath turning jagged.

"Don't be such a fucking brat or I won't touch you and you can use your those cute fingers to try and get yourself off." He warned, cocky with it, so smug that for once it felt like the tables had turned. That he was deep beneath your skin, plucking at your nerves, thinning out your patience.

“My fingers can make me cum better than your cock ever could so go right ahead." You snarked at him and his temper flared red hot, jaw clenching as his eyes narrowed to slits.

He reached between you again and guided his cock against you, deliberately nudging the head against your clit and smirking when it made you jolt, a soft whine slipping from between your teeth.

“Is that so?” Theo murmured, voice dropping low. Huskier. “You think your fingers could fill you the way I could, think they can get nice and deep, hit that place inside you that's gonna make your legs fucking shake for me.”

He kept at it until you were panting, until your glazed eyes fluttered closed and then he snapped his hips and sunk to the hilt inside you with one smooth, mind-shattering thrust.

You gasped, a silent scream catching in your throat as his face dropped to the crook of your neck with a groan, his mouth a punishing heat on your skin whilst he distracted himself. Scattering as many marks as it took for the searing heat in his veins, his stomach, to ebb.

And when it finally did, he drew nearly all the way out before pushing back in achingly slow. A taunt. The crawling pace just enough to stoke that molten burn he could sense simmering beneath your skin just like his own.

It made you rake your nails over him, made your hand find its way to the hair at the nape of his hair and yank it roughly, eyes snapping open to glare at him.

“Yes.” You bit out. Voice noticeably strained.

And Theo fucking grinned.

"Yeah? How many do you think it would take to stretch you like this?” He rasped, a wild noise clawing through his chest when you clenched tight around him. "Do you think your needy little cunt would get them all nice and wet the same way it's drenching my cock right now?"

"Fuck you, Theo– oh my god."

He slammed into you, fucking you raw and desperate inbetween the priceless art that hung on the walls whilst you cried out. Sounding ruined as you squeezed your legs tighter over his hips and told him to go deeper, harder, to not fucking stop.

Your nails scored pretty lines of red down his back before they swept back up and bit into the sweat-damp expanse of his shoulders as he scraped his teeth across your throat. He made an animalistic sound, muffled by the sweet give of your flesh between his teeth, and he was glad you were out of it enough that you didn’t realise how it sounded a hell of a lot like ‘again’.

That you didn't notice he had just lost his head and begged you to mark him, to make him bleed. Gift him lovely, crescent moon scars that he couldn't just wash away or forget about when his team almost had him convinced again that you weren't real.

He didn't know how he was supposed to still kill you when you had him spiralling like this, how he was ever supposed to be rid of you now he knew the heaven that was your perfect cunt wrapped around his cock, clamping down on him so greedily that his head fucking spun.

It made the punch of his hips grow bruising, manic, each spear of his thick cock through your walls knocking you up the wall whilst you clung to him. Pleasure-drunk and gasping.

He felt feral with it, the noises slipping past your parted lips making his blood burn as you rolled your hips frantically into his, and then there was suddenly madness within him. The kind that only you had ever inspired, making him hunger, making him crave, and as he drowned in it he lunged forward to sink his teeth deep into your collarbone.

Hard enough that your blood bloomed hot on his tongue, hard enough that he'd marked you just as savagely as you had marked him and it was enough to have your muscles locking up tight, back arching off the wall and thighs trembling violently around his waist.

You came around him with a sob so intense, it was as if he had thrust his hand through your chest, tangled his fingers in the branches of your lungs, and ripped it out. Whimpers fluttering into his mouth as he raised his head to crush his lips to your own, swallowing them down greedily and smearing your blood between you.

“That's it– fuck– look at the mess you're making, dolcezza.” He groaned, low and filthy. Voice aching whilst he pressed his head to yours and forced you to look down at where you were joined, where he was still viciously fucking up into your fluttering cunt. To where both of you were glistening wet with your release.

“Should I make you clean it up?” Theo murmured darkly. “Make you get on your knees and use that quick tongue of yours to get rid of one of your own messes for once.”

“I'd like to see you try, Teddy.” You spat, and maybe your vehemence would be a little more terrifying if you weren't still gasping and shaking against him.

If there weren't tears of pleasure spilling down your cheeks and dripping between yours and his already slick skin. Instead he laughed, the sound of it rasping, and then his hand was on your chin, lifting your face up so he could drag his tongue over a falling tear as the brutal snap of his hips grew sharper.

“Maybe if you ask nicely, if you begged me for it, I'd do it for you.” He husked and fuck, you were shuddering in his arms, pupils blowing out as you started tightening around him again. “I'd clean you up, taste every fucking inch of you, eat you where your all messy with me, and then I'd fuck you again. And again.”

This was dangerous.

He was becoming unhinged, posessed.

Yet he couldn't stop.

Theo ducked his head to latch his mouth to your nipple as if it would keep him from talking, from revealing the effect you had on him. How much he wanted to fucking devour you whole or unravel you at the seams so he could step between your bones and lock himself inside your ribs.

And maybe you knew, maybe there was something telling in the way he buried you deeper into the wall at his own words, the way his hands were bruising your skin and a rough noise caught at the back of his throat when you rolled your hips just right.

Because you keened at the swipe of his tongue and then your fingers were curling in his hair to wrench his head back, revealing his feral, pleasure-stricken expression to your wild gaze. Your fight returning full force.

“I don't fucking beg, but trust me Teddy, you will.” You whispered against his mouth, licking the rust from where it had dried after he'd bitten you. And then you're hand was slipping between your bodies, snaking down to your clit to touch it in quick movements that had your cunt trying to milk his cock for all its worth.

Doubled with the way your rocking against him, moving in a way that had Theo’s eyes rolling back, his knees threatening to buckle, it felt like he couldn't fucking breathe. Like you were killing him and he couldn't do a damn thing to stop you. Instead the heat in his belly bloomed and bloomed until he spat out a furious curse.

Until you licked the sound of your name from his desperate mouth, the bitten off, reluctant whisper of please, fuck—please, and with a savage grin you let yourself break around him, dragging him violently into ecstasy when he followed the very next second. Cock pulsing as he spilled inside you with a ruined groan.

****

Thanks to the moment of weakness he had displayed, Theo had been determined to regain at least some control, refusing to leave at a disadvantage with the unholy cracking of his begging voice lingering in his ears.

Instead he'd ignored the fact that he should have been putting as much distance between him, you and this hotel as possible, that he should have been heading to the airport and booking an earlier flight to get the fuck away from whatever the hell had happened.

Instead of walking away without another glance, he'd had you again. And again. And again. He'd settled for dragging orgasm after orgasm out of your trembling body until you had kicked him away and eventually begged yourself, pleading for him to let you rest.

And then it wasn't as if he had expected to fall asleep there, to slip into the most peaceful sleep he'd had in years in the circle of your arms with his head pillowed on your chest.

But when he awoke there was no sign you were ever even there, only the smell of your perfume clinging to his skin, the raw sting of your marks and another cream coloured card with his name scrawled on it.

No photo this time.

Just a couple of sentences that made him burn.

Body is in the bathroom, be a darling and take care of it, will you? I'll see you soon, Teddy.

God, he fucking hated you.

[maxiemumdamage]

To me Azula is a tragic character specifically because while she was failed by everyone around her, it also would’ve been unreasonable to expect any of them to save her. Among those who wanted to help her, practically no one had the understanding or power to change her. They couldn’t get Azula to stop being cruel, in large part because they couldn’t change the circumstances that nurtured her worst traits.

Except Ozai obviously. Fuck him. He’s why Azula is like that to begin with. But the power and sway he has over her also made it borderline impossible for anyone else to make her change.

(MUCH more to say about this here:)

People tend to blame Ursa for Azula’s behavior first and foremost. And…yes, Ursa was pretty clearly closer with Zuko than Azula. But of course she was! Ursa’s son was constantly abused and degraded by his father — as per the comics, Ozai outright told Ursa he would do this for all of Zuko’s life in order to hurt his wife. Zuko needed Ursa’s support to have any sense of self-esteem and frankly, for his own safety.

Zuko needed his mother just to be safe and not be alone, while Azula needed her mother for moral education. Even if you don’t think Ursa’s priorities were the right ones…choosing her daughter over her son might not have been enough to change Azula anyway. It would’ve been devastating for Zuko without necessarily improving Azula in any meaningful way, because Ursa didn’t actually have the authority to meaningfully oppose her husband.

By the time it would’ve been evident that Azula had a super skewed moral compass as a result of being around Ozai so much…she still would’ve been like, eight years old max, for one thing. Little kids say and do a lot of fucked up shit, because they don’t understand morals or the world by and by large. For another, once it was obvious she was parroting horrible stuff from her father, Azula also would’ve had no respect for her mother. So what could Ursa do, by the time she realized she needed to do something?

We see in flashbacks that Ursa tried, even when her child didn’t respect her and she couldn’t enforce meaningful consequences for the bad behavior Ozai rewarded. Ursa scolded Azula for saying cruel things. She made Zuko spend time with his sister, rewarding Azula for any moments of kindness or cooperation (even when Azula was just faking it to get an opportunity to bully Zuko and Mai). She tried.

As for Ursa leaving…uh, if she hadn’t, Zuko would have died. He absolutely, 100% would have died if his mother hadn’t cut a deal with Ozai to put him on the throne in exchange for disappearing. She made Azulon and his ultimatum go away because that was necessary to protect Zuko.

Ursa did fail to morally guide her daughter. But to do otherwise would’ve been to neglect her son, then to sign Zuko’s death warrant. I’m not gonna pretend she didn’t choose one kid over the other — I just also think choosing to support the kid whom she knew her husband was mistreating wasn’t necessarily the wrong call.

And even if it was…choosing differently might not have done anything. Because Ursa could only offer affection, while Ozai wielded both the carrot and a stick. Azula would’ve likely still fawned to the more powerful abuser, still learned harmful behavior, and still internalized that her cruelty was not just necessary but acceptable. Rewarded, even.

There’s Iroh to mention as well. He admittedly had a lot more influence and ability to stand up to Ozai than Ursa did, but in fairness…that wasn’t his kid. He had his own son to worry about, and then he was grieving, and then…he chose Zuko too.

For the same reason as Ursa, I don’t quite blame him for it — Zuko needed help much more immediately. When Zuko was banished, Iroh did the right thing by going with. But I do think those in-between years in the palace were a time Iroh (still mourning, but still) had the chance to influence Azula a little. But…

…I’ve seen a post theorizing that Iroh dislikes his niece because she reminds him of who he used to be, and…I think that’s very likely. They’re the golden children of their fathers, the firebending prodigies, the conquerors of Ba Sing Se.

I also think it’s because he and Azula are so alike that he has no idea how to help her.

Iroh didn’t have a moral revelation about the Fire Nation’s conquest, not until it cost him his son’s life. His realization about war being wrong, subsequently becoming more worldly and gaining respect for other cultures, it happened only when the Fire Nation’s system stopped working for him personally. So he wouldn’t know how to make Azula see that system as wrong, to make her change for the better as he did. He can’t recreate his own reasons for changing.

Also, quite frankly — Iroh barely to not at all managed to turn Zuko off the Fire Nation’s propaganda. Zuko always had morals, sure, but he did not have any semblance of the idea that “war (of conquest) is wrong” or even “wow my father is abusive and terrible to me personally” after three years of travel with Iroh. Being an Earth Kingdom refugee and meeting the Gaang was when Zuko really changed. And I think Zuko (who got his face burned off at 13) would probably be a much easier egg to crack on the redemption front than Azula (for whom the cruel and abusive system has always worked, she’s fine with it as long as she’s the one on top).

I also am briefly going off topic here to say…I like the idea of Azula redemption. I agree that she is sometimes condemned too strongly, to harshly, given that she is just a teenage girl. But her youth doesn’t take away from her cruelty. She is someone who knowingly does wrong, because she sees it as a way to protect herself. A meaningful redemption arc for her has to acknowledge that, not just sweep it under the rug by claiming she always loved her victims.

Because yes, Azula’s loved ones who are of a similar age to her but have less power are in fact her victims. They love her, she loves them, but she does hurt them all the same. That also has to be acknowledged in the quest to redeem her.

Zuko and Mai and Ty Lee all flatly have no power over Azula — she has power over them, in fact, thanks to her status as Ozai’s favored child and just as a princess, respectively. Ursa and Iroh were adults who at least wouldn’t be hurt by trying to help Azula, but for her brother and friends? Changing her could be dangerous.

Zuko is nominally safer as the Crown Prince, but…he’s awful at politics and their infinitely more powerful Dad blatantly favors Azula. He can’t stand up to her. And the one time were shown that Ursa, trying to correct Azula’s cruelty, made her son play nice, feels cruel to Zuko. He gets hurt and humiliated for no reason but for his sister’s sake entertainment and (failed) moral education. It’s not his job to redeem his sister.

And then there’s Mai and Ty Lee, who may be nobles, but still can’t do anything to Princess Azula. In fact, even before Mai or Ty Lee have done anything, Azula is threatening their family and bodily safety, respectively, as a loyalty test. They cannot challenge Azula in any meaningful way without endangering their lives and safety. It’s not fair to expect them to fix her.

Who does that leave that Azula is even close to? The Gaang literally know nothing of her but “Zuko’s sister who keeps trying to kill us.” None of the Fire Nation Generals or Nobles will want her to change. Azulon rewarded her bad behavior almost as hard as Ozai. Lo and Li, maybe, but for all they’re the wise old ladies Azula takes advice from, Azula doesn’t actually interact with them very often.

Azula is a tragic character because, while she was a child who should have been redeemed and had better, it makes perfect sense she didn’t. No one could change her. No one could offer a sweeter carrot or bigger stick than Ozai. And by the time he was out of the picture, the story was over.

[burst-of-iridescent]

Hey does everyone remember when Aang physically hurt Katara via burning her due to his own negligence with fire because he didn't listen at all to her concerns? But all of Katara's concerns were her being worried for him getting hurt and not herself, and then he hurts her badly, this never gets addressed again in the show, but I remember this vividly.

i actually like this scene on its own.

aang burning katara is a good character building moment because it's a brutal reminder of his own capacity for destruction. he needs to understand that his reckless actions can have horrific repercussions in order to fully realize the weight of his responsibility as both a firebender and the avatar, and it makes the moment where he uses zhao's recklessness against him more impactful. it also sets up the "water = life, fire = death" dichotomy that's part of katara's arc on viewing the world in binaries, which will later be broken down in book 3.

but ultimately the incident is still of greater significance to aang, and he's the one to bring it up in the guru and western air temple episodes, telling both guru pathik and zuko about his guilt over burning katara and his refusal to firebend ever again. this experience is also what leads him to accept zuko as his firebending teacher, and then finally forgive himself when he learns the true meaning of firebending. for the most part, it's a well-sustained arc and one of the few narratives aang has that is actually brought to completion.

do i wish that katara and aang had actually talked about his actions beyond this episode? yes. do i wish the aftermath had been focused a little more on katara instead of showcasing the impact of her physical injuries mostly through aang's continued self-flagellation? yes. but as a one-off incident contained to a single episode, i don't mind it.

what i do mind, however, is that this is not the last time the show is going to use katara as a lynchpin for aang's character development.

in the book 2 premiere, katara is turned into a pawn to propel aang into the avatar state. in the guru, her imprisonment is the reason that aang chooses to go back to ba sing se instead of unlocking his chakras. that is three separate times now that katara has been damselled in order to facilitate key turning points in aang's narrative, but not once does the same apply in reverse. there is never a moment where aang is the only one put in danger solely to drive katara's arc, the way she is in his. the closest we get is katara bringing aang back to life, but even then his death is still the result of his own choices and more integral to his storyline than hers.

now, compare this to the final agni kai.

at first glance, katara being put in danger just to complete zuko's redemption looks like the same tired trope, and had the scene ended at his sacrifice, it would be. but crucially, it's katara who continues the fight. katara who defeats the scion of fire nation destruction at the height of her power. katara who saves zuko just as he saved her.

in proving herself a master waterbender powerful enough to defeat azula and save someone she loves - someone who sacrificed themselves for her - from fire nation aggression, katara brings her own arc full circle. it is in triumphing over azula by saving each other that zuko and katara become the people they were always meant to be, and so their individual arcs are brought to their narrative culmination through bookending the other. the final agni kai works where the kat.aang moments fall short because it is of equal significance to both zuko and katara's narratives.

obviously, this is not to say that it's bad for certain characters to exist just to drive another character's arc. it's inevitable that some will be written solely to fulfill that purpose because a story only has so much narrative space, and it usually can't - and shouldn't - be divided equally amongst every single character.

but if we're talking about two main characters who end up in a lifelong romantic relationship, and it's the female character being repeatedly damselled to drive the male character's storyline within an already imbalanced dynamic... perhaps it's time to rethink a few things.

[cipher-grailwar]

Cipher Holy Grail War - Wave 2, Day 2 - (Saber, Assassin, Berserker)

There were intruders in the castle. The Assassin sighed, putting down her tablet pen and kicking away an empty cardboard box.

OSAKABEHIME: "Ugh. Won't even let me finish the screentones. Guess I'll have to get to work… whatever gets them out of here the fastest."

The young knight bravely marched through the, frankly, incredibly intimidating palace grounds. It seemed like there were eyes watching her from every inch of the building.

GARETH: "Brr. Spooky… and the air in this place is stifling, it's like I'm being weighed down… but there are enemies ahead, so I'll have to push through!"

She stopped, as phantasmal soldiers began to approach her.

Her name was a blank to the phantasmal soldiers- but her essence was clear enough to invoke their ire. A knight that was no stranger to battles- that had marched in the glorious name of a king, and had killed for said king as well. A warrior had added members to their bloody ranks, as the knights began to close in with an enraged rumble.

BERSERKER SOLDIERS: "▂▂▃▃▄▄▅▅▂▃..."

However, the bright Saber was unaware of the internal logistics of the warriors approaching her, and only responded in the face of hostiles.

The air shifted, as a massive, ghostly form manifested.

OSAKABEHIME: "Humans, you dare to step within the domain of the Assassin? This is a sin you shall pay gravely for, as I rend you--"

OSAKABEHIME: "(Oh, chotto a minute, pause the monologue-- where's my phone? I should take some pics of the blondie before she gets cursed to death… 'cute lady knights' never go out of style~~ snap-snap! Okay, so where was I…)"

OSAKABEHIME: "--rend you into pieces, cursing you for a thousand, thousand years. Your souls shall never know rest, I declare it so!"

The young knight readied her sword, preparing herself for battle.

GARETH: "So, that's Assassin! Use all the magic you want, summon all the familiars you need- I'll definitely prevail! I won't let my Masters down!"

…Familiars.

There was an entire ghostly army marching about the entirety of the palace grounds that the Assassin had nothing to do with- because it was the works of a whole other Servant.

OSAKABEHIME: "…Familiars? I mean, yes, my familiars. OBVIOUSLY. These wild spirits roaming the halls belong to me, and should also strike fear within your heart! Only by striking at them, may you even earn the right to truly harm me! Ohohohoho~!"

OSAKABEHIME: "(…Who the heck are these guys and why are they trying to haunt my haunted house?!)"

All three Servants are unharmed! Osakabehime has a boost to Playing Defensively due to her choices last round!

The skill boosts are...

Saber: -4%

Assassin: +3%

Berserker: +2%

SKILLS:

GARETH

TRAIT: When engaging another Servant 1-on-1, they get +3% to their combat poll results. When engaged in a Free-for-All, they gain a +2% boost.

Gareth Beaumains (B Rank) - Her Saber-Class trait for 1-on-1 battles increases from 3% to 5%, and from 2% to 3% for Free-for-All's. When she takes damage, she gains a +2% offensive boost the following round that is not impacted by demerits.

Battle Continuation (C Rank) - When taking a mortal blow, Gareth can survive with one wound remaining, and she gains a +8% boost for the following round. This can only be activated once.

OSAKABEHIME

TRAIT: If they pick a Servant that isn’t targeted by anyone else, they get +5% to their combat poll results, and cannot be ambushed when Playing Defensively.

Castle Apparition (A++ Rank) - When within the confines of her domain, Osakabehime is the ruling force. If attacked while 'Playing Defensively', her enemies take a -5% demerit, and she gains a +2% boost. However, her Assassin-trait offensive passive is reduced from +5% to +3%... going out to find enemies is not her ideal strategy.

Chiyogami Manipulation Techniques (EX Rank) - The ability to make origami familiars to fight for her. She gains a +2% in Free-for-Alls, and boosts from studying enemies is increased by +1% than the usual bonuses.

THE UNKNOWN SOLDIER

TRAIT: If engaged in a 1-on-1 fight with another Servant, they get +5% to their final combat poll results, and when engaged in a Free-for-All, they inflict a -2% demerit on their enemies as well.

True Name Discernment (Warlord) (D) - An aggression and awareness targeted towards those who commanded others to their deaths. When fighting against specific enemies, their boost changes.

Tier 1 (Against Archer, ???) - +4% Tier 2 (Against Lancer, Saber) - +2% Tier 3 (Against Assassin, ???) - +1%

The 'tier' a Servant falls into is revealed upon engaging with them the first time. In a Free-for-All, this does not stack- only the highest boost is applied.

Despite the clear malice of the Assassin, they have a lower sense of aggression towards her as compared to the knightly Saber. Saber falls within 'Tier 2', while Assassin falls within 'Tier 3'.

Madness Enhancement (Distributed) (A) - Each time a body is lost (as in, when damage is taken), they gain a +3% boost to their damage. They also get 1 more 'health' than other Servants... however, they cannot use Command Spells to restore health. (Current Boost: 0%)

[maddames]

is it possible u can write for platonic yan!claude and platonic yan!athanasia pls? how do they behave around the youngest in the obelia family? 👁️👁️

SWEET DREAMS, LITTLE DOVE.

p!yan!claude + p!yan!athanasia with youngest!obelia child // tw confinement, obsession, possessiveness, violence (both against reader and others), manipulation, death, imprisonment, gn!reader.

BOTH claude and athanasia are rather careful around the youngest, because despite what most think, the two royals see the youngest obelia as someone who's fragile, both mentally and physically compared to them.

despite athanasia's and claude's agreement on trying to keep you as "safe as possible" both of them have very different ways of "punishing" you, with claude being more physical, while athanasia prefers using your emotions against you.

both of them, despite being (obviously) abusive, they treat you very well! anything you wanted would be handed to you without a single doubt, except for freedom, of course. because why would you want to leave the palace? isn't what they're giving you here enough?

the palace servants are extremely careful and watch their words around you, as well, because anything they do could result in them either being imprisoned or killed if they even just upset you, with some servants acting as the emperor's and crown princess's ears and eyes whenever they have to be seperated from you.

athanasia, in my opinion, would treat you much better than claude, as she more or less practically worships the ground you walk on and idolises you, while claude sees you more of a porcelain doll, something to keep his mind off of diana, much to everyone's dismay.

jeanette was most likely your first and only genuine friend aside from your sister, as she wasn't aware of how possessive the emperor and princess are over you.

once claude retires and athanasia becomes the new empress, however, your life from then on would be more hectic, as claude has more time to spend with you now, while athanasia gets busier with her new duties.

honestly, you'd be practically confined to the palace walls, as you're not allowed to leave the imperial palace at all once claude decided to make you and athanasia stay at his own. not to mention that you'd be confined to your chambers if you acted out against claude and athanasia.

in short; they treasure and spoil you, yes, but you'll never be able to have freedom nor true privacy, confined in the palace and having to follow the whims of your sister and father until the either of you die.

[superman86to99]

Superman #93 (September 1994)

ZERO HOUR CROSSOVER! Due to the time-related shenanigans going on around the DC Universe, Superman meets his Kryptonian parents again -- and this time, his mom doesn't want to puke when she sees him! In fact, she even gives him a motherly kiss. Aww.

We start with Supergirl fighting some 68th century aliens who found themselves transported to present-day Earth and apparently figured they might as well invade it. Superman drops by and deals with the aliens via his usual approach to problem-solving: he just chucks their ship back into space.

As the heroes land back in Metropolis, Lois Lane hands Superman her cellular telephone because he has a call from Ma Kent, who sounds pretty panicked. The call abruptly cuts off, and there's a dramatic moment where Superman wonders if he can really leave the whole "the universe is in danger" thing aside for a while...

...before deciding that, yes, his mom is more important, obviously.

So, Superman flies to Smallville to check on his parents, only to find two surprise characters in their home: freaking' Psi-Phon and Dreadnaught. Wait, no, it's his other parents, Jor-El and Lara, just standing in the Kent's kitchen. Jor-El explains that, after sending little baby Kal-El's rocket to Earth all those years ago, they realized Krypton wasn't exploding after all, whoops. A scientist called Jen-Em had figured out how to stall the explosion, and then, after years of work, they managed to cure Krypton of its explosive tendencies for good.

Superman quickly figures out that this must be the result of the weirdness caused by Zero Hour (after all, he's been to Krypton and saw that there's nothing but a big ball of green gas there), but he agrees to put on a Cyclops-esque visor that will show him Jor-El's story in more detail.

Through the futuristic Viewmaster, Superman learns that in this timeline, Krypton's near-death experience caused the Kryptonians to re-evaluate their priorities and abandon their cold, emotionless ways (hence this Lara not being repulsed by her son). In fact, Lara became the first modern Kryptonian to get pregnant and have a child the old fashioned way -- meaning that, yes, Superman has a brother, Zan-El. Zan not only grew up to become "prefect over the entire planet" (so, world president) but, more importantly, he also brought back the shorter togas and fashionable headbands of Krypton's ancient, Mike Mignola-designed past.

Meanwhile, Jor-El had spent all those decades working on a cure to the genetic defect that kills Kryptonians if they try to leave the planet. He finally came up with a serum that temporarily allowed him and Lara to visit Earth, but it's already wearing off. So, Superman has to decide quickly: will he go live in alternate, non-exploded Krypton with his biological family? Or will he stay with his adoptive one that actually raised him and made him who he is?

Superman agonizes over the choice for a moment, but then he's like "hey, wait a minute, I can just go visit!" He informs the Els of his decision and they're overjoyed -- until a poorly-timed thunderbolt full of chronal energy strikes their spaceship and erases them from reality.

"The last son of Krypton is orphaned once again." Damn, Jurgens.

Metron of the New Gods comes to remind the grieving Superman that all the other superheroes are waiting for him at Zero Hour #3 (now on sale!), but Superman says they can wait a little longer because he has something important to do: hug his Earth parents and tell them he loves them.

CONTINUED IN ZERO HOUR!

Plotline-Watch:

This is a classic issue, obviously, but my problem with it is that one of the "next issue" blurbs in another Super-Title had teased it as "Guess who's coming to dinner?" -- and yet there's no scene of the Kents and the Els enjoying any type of meal. I haven't read the recent Zero Hour 30th Anniversary Special by Jurgens (I will once we're done covering the event), but this scene better be in it.

At the start of the issue, as she fights the aliens, Supergirl sees the Superman hologram that he and Metron created with Green Lantern's help in Zero Hour #4. We'll go over every DC comic that got spammed with green holo-Superman in another post.

It greatly pleases me that Superman specifically mentions the time, exactly 75 issues ago, when Hawkman took him to see Krypton's remains (at which point Superman hallucinated a timeline where the Kryptonians survived by becoming even bigger assholes). Sure, it later turned out that this was an evil Hawkman impostor who inexplicably helped save Superman's life, but Superman probably doesn't know about that whole mess, plus I think Zero Hour is about to delete it from continuity anyway.

The reason for that genetic link to Krypton that Jor-El mentions was the Eradicator, as revealed in Action Annual #2, but Jurgens also refrains from opening that particular can of worms in this comic (especially since the Eradicator is currently running around with a superhero team and even appears in Zero Hour).

Metropolis Mailbag:

Imagine our delight (and our embarrassment) when we opened the newsletter archive page for Man of Steel #37 last week and saw there was a comment there from Mr. Jon Bogdanove himself, which had been sitting there unanswered for over a month! Agh! Here it is in full:

"Don—Outstanding job identifying all the Batmen ( You even got Walt!!). The only one you didn’t get reflects my failure. What you guessed was Marshall Rogers was meant to be Bernie Wrightson. However I deeply regret NOT including Marshall. I really should have. I also left out Norm, mainly because I didn’t think I could do him justice. I tried a few sketches and was able to identify a number of tropes we took a similar approach to—but I just wasn’t satisfied that I could really nail Norm—at least in the time I had left. Teaching myself all these different styles really pushed the drop-dead deadline to the limit. I really put poor Dennis and Whitty under the gun on this one. I did learn a hell of a lot drawing this issue though. Nothing like studying the masters to help you learn!! BTW: Weezie and I love that everyone hated Jeb so very much. One gets to draw many villains in one’s career, but rarely does one get to create so dislikeable a douchebag! I consider Jeb a genuine achievement. I know 90’s Jimmy annoys some people, but to me Jimmy was always meant to be comic relief. I liked playing Jimmy as this doofus kid with a middle-aged dad’s sense of cool. He still cracks me up. I would love to do a Retro look at Zero Hour—perhaps a vignette from that same night— in which 90s Jimmy meets himself from various other timelines—Golden Age office boy Jimmy, Silver-Age drag queen Jimmy, Kirby-era Jimmy, etc. I’d dedicate it to Max!"

And my shamefully late response (gonna go ahead and blame the time disturbances for it):

"I am mortified that we hadn't seen this comment until now! (Didn't realize the newsletter wouldn't alert us, argh) Sir, if you don't draw that Jimmy idea, I swear I will commission it from you one day. I would add Turtle Boy Jimmy, My Adventures with Superman Jimmy, and of course bald, Superman-hating Jerry Ordway Jimmy. Just no Jebs, please."

(I now check the newsletter archive pages for comments 75 times a day, unless I forget.)

Shout Outs-Watch:

Time-displaced shout outs to our SUPporters, Aaron, Chris “Ace” Hendrix, britneyspearsatemyshorts, Patrick D. Ryall, Mark Syp, Ryan Bush, Raphael Fischer, Kit, Dave Shevlin, and Dave Blosser! Join them (and get extra non-continuity articles; the latest one was about Superman fighting a guy called BONECHILL in the 1989 cartoon) via Patreon or our newsletter’s “pay what you want” mode!

And now: more from Don Sparrow, who sent me his section weeks ago but it also got lost in time (actually, I decided to cover Zero Hour #4 first). Keep reading:

Art-Watch (by @donsparrow):

We open with the cover, and while it’s a bit broad, it’s certainly accurate for the story within.  I kinda dig that “DC Universe” trade dress, though it didn’t seem to last very long.  Inside the issue, we’re met with a lovely full-page splash of Supergirl amidst a LOT going on—thunderclouds, lightning, a firing spacecraft and a Star Wars style holographic projection of Superman.

I wasn’t sure which review to tackle first, Zero Hour #4, or this one, but since they seem to take place more or less at the same time (with the holographic message coming early into issue 4, but the New York meeting coming in Zero Hour #3), I flipped a coin and went with this one as happening first.  As the story progresses, Supergirl gets an assist from the Man of Steel in dealing with the timelost aliens, brusquely tossing them into space.  This issue exemplifies a trend I’ve noticed with Jurgens’ layouts since the Death and Return storyline—he uses a lot fewer panels per page than he once did, often with a near full page splash and then two or three panels laid overtop.  Visually, it’s very arresting, and Jurgens knocks the background splashes out of the park—on pages 4 and 5, despite being nearly identical scenarios (Superman and Supergirl flying in a stormy sky), they’re both so well handled, you don’t even mind the repetition.  But from a storytelling standpoint, it really does feel like a little less to read each issue, so the Superman issues seem a little thinner in terms of what actually happens.  Anyone else notice this? [Max: For me at the time, the shorter plots were balanced out by the fact that I spent more time looking at the big, awesome pictures, as opposed to the smaller, lamers ones in the backissues I was buying, with all that wasted white space between panels. I'm paying for the full page to be used, dammit!!!] 

Back to the art, page 7 has a great drawing of a pensive Superman. Page 9 is a great image, but a bit of a missed opportunity—the last panel would have been more impactful had Jor-El REALLY looked identical to Kal-El (which I’ve mocked up). [Max: I also made a small change to the panel, see if you can spot it...]

I do appreciate Jurgens’ and Rubinstein’s effort to still give the Els expressive faces, without eyebrows.

As Jor-El shares the alternate history of Krypton, Superman in the VR visor is pretty reminiscent of Cyclops from X-Men.  It’s compelling to see the flowing outfits that Zan-El and his bride wear, in opposition to the robes of Jor and Lara—much more like the early more Roman look shown in the first issue of the World of Krypton series.  My guess is the group that attend Zan’s nuptials are all members of the El family--I had thought that the different Kryptonian houses would wear different colours rather than everyone in green, but aside from the odd panel from Action Annual #2, I can’t seem to find much corroboration of that assumption.  The sweet image of Lara giving her son a peck on the cheek is quietly powerful, with a great expression on Superman’s face on page 17.  Lastly, the tragic page of chronal discharge (which sounds like a rap metal band name) and electrical storms is well drawn.

SPEEDING BULLETS:

When Superman is hemming and hawing over whether to focus on the extinction level event the superheroes are facing, or head to the farm to help his parents, Supergirl posits “There’s only one choice and you know it.”  I completely thought that it was setting up for him to focus on saving all of humanity rather than popping home for a visit.

Perhaps it’s because they were trying to have the Zero Hour books serve as a jumping on point for new readers (particularly the zero issues, which are coming soon) but some of the dialogue in this issue feels clunkily expository, like when Superman reminds his fiancée Lois and quasi-family member Supergirl that the Kents “may not have been {his} genetic parents, but they’re real as they come”, or later when Superman explains to Jor-El and Lara (and the reader) about Krypton’s explosion, and the Matrix chamber rocketship.

They kinda gloss over whether there was any fallout about being wrong about Krypton exploding, though I suppose it was more about Jen-Em stabilizing the core rather than Jor being wrong. [Max: "Krypton is gonna blow up, guys" is definitely a meme among the current Kryptonian generation because the scientists did such a great job stopping it, like Y2K or the hole in the ozone layer here.]

Have we ever seen a post-Crisis Kryptonian depicted as having anything but black hair? [Max: I'm pretty sure there were some non-black haired ones in World of Krypton, but it's hard to tell with the eyebrow-less, nun habit-wearing ones. It's possible they made other hair colors go away once they got all into eugenics, though.]

It’s interesting that this alternate Krypton goes one step further than Byrne’s origin, regarding the Els.  In Byrne’s history, Jor-El was a rebel in his society because he had actual affection for his lifemate, Lara.  The notion of natural conception and birth goes even further than that, and was explored in the Man of Steel film, where (spoiler alert?) Kal himself was the first child naturally conceived in love in generations.

This issue also reveals that the familiar robes and headpieces worn by Jor-El and Lara aren’t simply traditional garb, they’re referred to as life support suits.

Though the Kents are worried about losing Clark to his Kryptonian parents, Jonathan is all man, which explains why he picks this particular moment to go to second base with his elderly wife. [Max: He instinctively wanted to get working on a replacement son, forgetting he's been shooting blanks since youth...]

While Superman cries in anguish at seeing his biological parents detonate, Metron simply refers to them as “unfortunates”.  All heart, that one.

Missed an issue? Looking for an old storyline? Check out our new chronological issue index!

[idonotbitemythumbatyou]

Just rewatched Chain of Command and that Gul Madred dude is so fucked once the Obsidian Order gets their hands on him for how badly he bungled that interrogation.

I’m sorry you had Jean-Luc fucking Picard captain of the goddamn Enterprise on your ship and you didn’t just throw him in a cell until you could get him to a qualified Order agent?

You told him personal anecdotes that were… true? You absolute fucking moron? You brought your daughter in? Did you know that children are not a trigger point for him? No of course you didn’t you dipshit.

The only reason he went in that last time when he knew Picard was freed was to try to get something to show for himself to save his ass from Tain’s wrath. “See! See! He was about to break! I didn’t fuck up!”

Oh and that Cardassian captain? (The one who was dealing with starfleet and loving every second of being righteously furious that Captain Picard? Was found? Committing a crime!? Against Cardassia!?) he obviously hates Madred’s guts so I can only imagine when Madred was like “I know we’re supposed to take prisoners like this to the Order but should I just like… do the interrogation myself?” The captain dude was like ‘for the good of Cardassia I should convince him to not do the interrogation, and instead wait until we get back to Cardassia for an expert to–’ “Yes Gul Madred, you should be the one to interrogate Captain Jean-Luc Picard. You are more than capable and I cannot foresee this resulting in embarrassment or death for anyone involved.”

Meanwhile the Obsidian Order plant on his crew is just taking notes shaking her head like “oh god. Oh no. Oh Tain is gonna be so fucking pissed.”

[hannahhook7744]

HC For When Lampwick tried to give Harry and Jace a Curfew when The Coachman was set free after the barrier was brought down please ?

When Mal and Ben decide to bring down the barrier, many people have reservations regarding the matter—some think that no one (not even the kids) should have been taken off the isle, others think that only the kids should be free, and others argued that the kids should be free and the adults should have the chance (depending on the severity of their crimes) to get off the isle but that there should have been safety measures put into place and tests beforehand.

34 year old Lampwick isn’t sure where he stands on the matter regarding the adults but he was one of the people with reservations. Mainly because even the faintest idea of the Coachmen being free sent him spiraling—something that was now a REALITY.

Needless to say, the knowledge that the man who turned him into a donkey because of behavior he encouraged and sold him to be worked to death when he was twelve was free put him into a tizzy.

He’s scared and who can blame him? He has six kids under 20, two kid cousins under 18, a younger sister who is perpetually stuck at the age of 13, and several nieces and nephews (both legally and those who are just the kids of his friends). He has every reason to be terrified and so does Tiger Lily who isn’t exactly thrilled about the idea that Captain Hook and the other Neverland pirates are out and about, and running free.

Because of that Tiger Lily, Lampwick, and their families all get a bit…overprotective…of the kids in their lives.

Which leads to the curfew Lampwick tries to enforce onto his kids, Harry, and Jace with the help of Tiger Lily, and their families.

Absolutely none of the kids are thrilled about it.

Sunflower, Petunia, and Rowan are all babies and don’t like being taken inside when there is still plenty of sun in the sky.

Blue Veronica doesn’t like not being able to play outside as long and not being able to go to the library when she wants anymore.

Tulip doesn’t like that she can’t hang out with her friends for as long as she’s used to, even when she’s not in Neverland.

Tiger Peony does not follow the curfew. At all. She’s eighteen and her parents can’t make her—especially when she’s away at University.

Harry and Jace were obviously the most resistant to this idea, given how adult supervision and curfews aren't really that much of a thing on the isle.

Not to mention that they're literally seventeen when the barrier is brought down and when they meet Lampwick. So they aren't really amused with this behavior.

Neither of them like being treated like a child—especially not Jace who is used to being “The Adult™” of his group—and curfews are for children, obviously.

And Harry in particular doesn't like being told what to do.

Needless to say, they push back and argue and refuse.

The resulting argument between the two of them and the Rossí's is very loud, and ends with a slamming door and no one being able to find the Badun cousins for a week.

They find them in Agrabah. AGRABAH! Lampwick and Tiger Lily live primarily in Neverland and partially in Auradon.

The two of them were visiting Reza and claimed they didn't know they were even missing.

It was not a fun week for anyone involved.

Lampwick still tries to enforce the curfew after this (it is not a battle he wins).

And if you thinks he wins the battle in my bda descendants rewrite, you'd be wrong. Even with the Radcliffes, his family, FG, and Tiger Lily's family backing him, he loses.

Harry and Jace are capable of escaping their rooms on their own, let alone with their friends helping them. And they're very creative with it.

Bria nearly had a heart attack when she caught Harry and Jace climbing out of their window onto the shoulders of their friends, who were on their other friends.

Yes they fell.

They still managed to get away.

Lampwick swears he caught Mystery trying to help them once. Says that there was no way Mystery pulling a rope attached to a makeshift elevator was a coincidence. No one believes him.

The two cousins drive the adults responsible for them up the wall and yes, that includes Harry's bio mom, Helga Sinclair.

[sirenalpha]

One thing I didn't expect getting into PJO fandom was how much camp mom!Percy content there was and especially how much genderbending for Percy there was as in my experience genderbending has gotten less popular everywhere over my time in fandom, but PJO has many long and very popular fem!Percy fics which I'm not sure I've seen before ever in any other fandom, and they're usually combined with fem!Percy also being portrayed as being camp mom or adopting or bearing children like other male characters who get babygirled or have fans say get this man a child aren't even on this level for being portrayed in fic with taking care of children and genderbending

I initially found it surprising because Percy is presented as very stereotypically masculine, PJO is a YA series and a very fast paced one, it acknowledges it's dealing in archetypes by focusing on Greek myths, there's not a lot of subtleties, like this is a series that outright has characters talk very literally about fatal flaws, and while Percy might be named after a famous Greek hero who would obviously be an idealized male figure to an ancient Greek audience and there was inspiration taken from that to create Percy, he is definitely far more grounded in modern American conceptions of heroism and masculinity

Percy never cries once in the series regardless of what pain and trauma he goes through, he is even contrasted with Grover and Tyson who are two male characters who do cry, but they're shown as being in need of Percy's protection from bullies including a female one in Grover's case, and whereas Greek heroes freely express strong emotions and frequently weep, Achilles threw himself on the ground and practically had a tantrum after Patroclus's death in the Illiad, Achilles' wrath includes his weeping

Percy excels in sword fighting which is a masculinized weapon even within physical combat already being masculine (see how Annabeth only gets a dagger) but its association with heroes comes from medieval knights, Greek soldiers did carry swords, but they were short swords not the more popular arming swords and rapiers in American media, and their main weapons were spears both thrusting and throwing, to use Achilles again he mostly uses a spear in the Iliad and he's commonly depicted on vases with two spears not holding a sword

I think you could even make an argument that Percy riding horses is a more modern masculine trope as well despite the horse girl trope because of knights association with horses as calvary troops or even with cowboys and outlaws from Westerns since Percy rides bareback, he's the character most commonly depicted on horseback including during combat and not depicted as winning over a horse's trust as is common in a horse girl narrative, Percy instead has Blackjack's loyalty for saving his life which he didn't even do himself and their initial meeting happens between books and just in comparison, Greek heroes in the Illiad use chariots rather than actually riding the horses, but this is a more minor point 

Percy is also presented as very masculine in his emotional dysregulation especially his anger as it is frequent and intense as well as his impulsiveness, yes this is in part due to his ADHD but just compare to Annabeth who also has ADHD, she does not present her symptoms in the same way (as is typical in real life between boys and girls), only Clarisse gets close to the same amount of anger and she's treated far more negatively about it by the narrative than Percy is, this sort of anger is expected and more typical from men and boys whether or not they have ADHD and it's reflected in Percy's depiction

Even his poor results in school is arguably masculine, Percy's bad grades are kind of treated as a joke and not taken very seriously despite as far as we can tell from the small bits of his schooling we do see he's not getting appropriate accommodations for his disability and we don't know the other demigods grades, but his mother, Sally Jackson, prioritized her schooling and did well enough grades wise to finish out her high school education after dropping out and then be accepted at university

It's also in his relationships with women and girls, Percy is adverse to female leadership, he butts heads with both Thalia and Zoe in ttc even if he comes around on them, and while he tries to be more supportive with Annabeth in botl but he ends up taking over as leader anyways and I get he's a protagonist so he needs autonomy for the story to function, but it's as much about how it happens and that this is repeat behavior for him and about the fact he's violently angry in his internal narration at Artemis's hunters over just giving Annabeth a pamphlet as he's in the middle of beefing with Thalia and Zoe, like that is some serious misogynistic possessiveness that is not addressed and it all pushes Percy into a very stereotypically masculine role regarding leadership and not accepting women as leaders

he also has multiple girls romantically interested in him, Annabeth, Rachel, and Calypso even if Rachel is foisted off later with the Oracle and Calypso left on her island to make his get together with Annabeth as easy as possible, and yes female protagonists also get put into love triangles with two men, but it's the addition of Calypso that pushes this out of thematically relevant love triangle territory into something a little closer to male fantasy of a lot of women being attracted to the male protagonist

He also idolizes and is protective of his mother, Sally Jackson isn't really a real human being with flaws in his eyes, but his perfect saintly mother placed on an untouchable pedestal and he's perfectly willing to kill her husband, their abuser, just as the Perseus in myth was even if he does ultimately allow her to do it herself and she gets involved herself in the TLO battle, but it's still pretty typical of male heroes to violently protect their mothers (see OG Perseus)

and just for the camp mom/maternal side, Percy isn't really depicted being around younger kids, Riordan is allergic to filling out the camp, but nearly all the named characters are older than Percy, the only exceptions are iirc Tyson, Nico, Bianca, and Will. 

Bianca is fridged very early on with Zoe acting more as her mentor than Percy, Will literally only exists to heal Annabeth when she takes a stab for Percy in TLO, and then with Tyson, Percy is explicitly an older brother but it's not like he's maternal towards him, he physically protects Tyson from bullying and stands guard over him and looks out for him on the quest all more stereotypically masculine behaviors, but that's about it and Tyson drops out significantly after SoM, Nico is similar, he's a reoccurring character but he's not actually with Percy for significant chunks of the 3 books he's in so it's not like Percy gets a lot of mentoring or caretaking time with him, he's mostly concerned about Nico's physical safety and getting him somewhere safe same as with Tyson and Grover and I do think it's notable that when Percy thinks Nico betrayed him after going to the Styx he's furious enough that he wants to outright kill Nico and the only reason he doesn't is because he's been kidnapped, not exactly the world's most maternal behavior

Percy is definitely in a masculine protector role and not a mom friend role, he's not shown doing things like healing or wound care or helping younger characters through sickness, he doesn't do domestic labor like cooking, cleaning, or grocery shopping, he's there to fight bullies or get you to camp safely

So if Percy's so masculine, why does he get made into camp mom or genderbended so frequently?

There are two extremely significant reasons for this

the first I believe might actually be accidental, Percy has gone through a lot of shit in his home life regarding Gabe's abuse and Poseidon's absence and he is very clear about how negatively this has impacted him

in his internal narration

Percy never talks to anyone else about his issues with his family, he doesn't even talk about his mother whom he loves deeply even after he sees her strangled by the Minotaur and is in extreme distress over it and I believe this is due not for some masculine he can't cry reason (or at least not solely) but because Riordan wants to keep up a fast pace in the story, the audience got the information in his narration so Percy doesn't need to repeat that information by telling it to someone else

But we don't get other character's internal narration, the only way to learn about their emotional issues is for them to talk to Percy about it, and Percy is actually fairly attuned to others emotions (common for someone who has suffered abuse but also he's the narrator so he has to be observant) he clocks Luke's anger and Annabeth's crush on Luke, he notices Thalia's discomfort driving the sun chariot etc etc so he tends to ask people about what's going on with them though they also sometimes bring it up on their own

and Percy can't say nothing to them as that's rude and weird so when Grover talks about being guilty over Sally's 'death' or is afraid he's too cowardly and useless or Annabeth talks about her dad and step family or Thalia talks about her mother, and so on, Percy is there to be sympathetic and offer assurances and suggestions

this makes these relationships all uneven, Percy provides this emotional support to the rest of the cast and receives none in return as he never talks about his issues, so instead of Percy falling into brooding or man pain as would be more typical of a male character with these sorts of heavy issues, he's internalizing all of them while providing emotional support to others which is more typical of a female character, especially a mom friend even if Percy isn't portrayed performing other caretaking duties and if he's acting like a mom friend by providing emotional support, it's not much of a leap to a camp mom role, it is in character for him to be curious and sympathetic if he notices something going on with the people he knows

but the second reason is even more significant

The themes of Percy Jackson are built around the Greek pantheon as a dysfunctional family and trying to resolve them into something healthier and in the climax of the series, Percy rejects immortality to demand that Zeus, the father and patriarch of the entire Greek pantheon, care about his children and make all the other gods do so as well

it doesn't matter how masculine Percy is, the stereotypically masculine role of the father, the literal patriarch in a family, is to have control over his children and provide for and protect them, not to care for and raise them, and so when Percy demands that Zeus, the ultimate patriarch in all of Greek myth, take care of his kids after five books of being critical of the gods' parenting, he assumes a role akin to a stereotypical nagging wife and mother begging her husband to engage emotionally with his children

This is the crux of Percy's characterization and the thematic core of the entire series, everything else Percy does is like set dressing in comparison to the importance of this scene in understanding Percy and his positioning within the text and his family 

the logical extension of this on Percy's behavior is ultimately stereotypically maternal not paternal, it can safely be assumed that should Percy have a child of his own, his concern will not be to merely have custody of them or protect them from harm and meet their physical needs, he will want to be emotionally engaged with them and ensure they feel loved and cared for since he didn't get that from his father or step father as a child 

Caring for the emotional well being of children, any children even the rich stuck up ones at Yancy, and offering emotional support for his friends and loved ones is who Percy is

Camp mom and genderbending him, essentially making his sex conform to the most significant and stereotypically feminine aspect of his characterization, is not that far of a stretch for fanfic writers, fandom thrives in the holes left by canon and Riordan neglecting to create many characters younger than Percy and separating him from the few that do exist and choosing to focus heavily the action/adventure part of the series over home life and the mundane make this a very enticing way to explore other aspects of Percy's character especially given the context of the series overall being an exploration of dysfunctional families and breaking the cycle of neglect and abuse

so in the end, it's not that surprising given this canonical basis for it

[anantplayingdnd]

Oh Hellos' songs and what Curse of Strahd Characters I associate with them!

Oh boy they are my favorite band of all time and boy do I have things to say.

Also this does contain spoilers, so if you're a player, maybe get your DM's permission before reading through this.

Ireena: "Trees" "Notos" "Dear Wormwood" "Exeunt" "Boreas" "Lay Me Down" "On the Mountain Tall"

Oh boy, it's quite a few, if I'm being honest. "Trees" is about her relationship with Izmark, obviously. "Notos" is largely vibes based, but it's a lot of freedom and being willing to fight against the circumstances you find yourself in, which is a major theme for her. "Dear Wormwood" like... come on. Do I even need to say anything about this? Strahd has been controlling so much of her life, and now she's realized who he is and how bad he is. The whole song is about rebellion against an abuser and making your own way, without their influence. Similarly, "Exeunt" is about... leaving. Running away. Saying you've had enough of the treatment you've endured and getting the hell out of there. "Lay me Down" picks up right where that leaves off, bold and determined to get away, if not in life than in death. It's her hope of one day not being trapped in the soul snowglobe of Barovia. "Boreas" and "On the Mountain Tall" are both a little more abstract, but I think Boreas relates to the periods of depression she's been through as a result of.. you know. Strahd. And as for "On the Mountain Tall" like.. tell me you can hear the line, "I know you want me to be afraid, I know you want me to love you," without thinking of her and Strahd.

Izmark: "Trees" and "Soap"

"Trees" is there for symmetry with Ireena, being a song about their childhood and how, for a little while, they were happy. "Soap" is one I just like, can't explain properly. Frankly it came to me in a vision, and sometimes I know a song fits a character long before I figure out why. I think what initially drew me to associating it with Izmark is the lyrics about having a softer side, but needing to become tougher to survive in the world, and trying to figure out how to make who you want to be compatible with who the world says you have to be.

Rahadin: "Pale White Horse"

I feel like there's little to say that isn't obvious. The Pale White Horse is the coming of death, something twisted and horrible that makes even the bravest cower in fear, and if that isn't Rahadin, I don't know what is.

Doru: "The Valley"

Doru hates being trapped in Barovia (I mean, they all do, but Doru really hates it). And because of how much he hated everything about the place he was raised, it made him very eager to follow someone who said they would lead him into something better. Unfortunately, that individual bit off a little more than they could chew in this brilliant attack on Castle Ravenloft, and that's how Doru ended up undead.

Strahd: "Like the Dawn"

One of my favorite things to do with Strahd is take things that are super cute and wholesome, like Adam seeing Eve for the first time and realizing how wonderful it is to have someone who understands him, and making it about how horrible and fucked up Strahd is. This song is normally really romantic, but I dare you, just go imagine Strahd singing this about Tatyana and come back to tell me how icked out you are.

Sykane (OC): "Eat You Alive"

I'll talk more about her one day, but you know that weird Dark Power who can let you reanimate the dead if they've only been dead for a few days? Yeah, she's the Warlock/Necromancer's patron :)

Ezmerelda: "Thus Always To Tyrants"

A song about bringing life back to a dry valley by overthrowing the corrupt tyrants that have destroyed it? Yes, obviously it's the most badass Vampire Hunter out there. (I also think that some of it, especially toward the end, that's in reference to Van Richten).

Ludmilla: "Rose"

My Ludmilla has been hiding who she is from everyone, including Strahd. She was once good friends with the party Druid, but under a different name. Also, the lyrics about appeasing your leviathan groom? Love will get you slaughtered? Ugh. I love her.

Kasimir: "Rounds" and "The Lament of Eustace Scrubb"

"Rounds" is a song I personally use a lot to help myself get out of depressive slumps, due to it's slow building and references to taking in deep breaths, learning how to speak again. In his playlist, this song comes just after everything Rahadin does to the Dusk Elves, and is him slowly trying to pick his life back up after unbelievable pain. "The Lament of Eustace Scrubb" is honestly a bit of wishful thinking on my part, since our Kasimir hasn't quite realized that he has the ability to change and grow from the many, many mistakes he's made. But one day, maybe he'll realize that he can be set free.

BONUS ROUND WITH NO EXPLANATIONS

Escher: "Danse Macabre"

Abbot: "Smoke Rising Like Lifted Hands"

Lady Wachter: "Hieroglyphs"

Volenta: "Torches"

Sergei: "Grow"

[numericalbridge]

One headcanon that i just can't agree with is the idea that Darius would/should just stay at home post canon and care only about Hunter and Eber, at best other close friends and whoever he is shipped with, but not about anyone or anything else.

Like, yeah, obviously there are people who are the closest to him, and i definitely think he would need to take a break and revaluate his position as the former Coven Head and take a real vacation for once, but Darius is just so flanderized in the fandom into one direction or another, and i just don't vibe with it. And yes, i understand that sometimes it's simply the result of what people want to focus on in fanworks, but i've also seen it spelled out as headcanons in general, like 'oh, Darius hates all the kids for real and only Hunter is the exception', or 'Darius actually can't stand other people other than his loved ones' (and not in the sense that he is easily annoyed, or it is difficult for him to interact with others, but fully, for real).

First, I am pretty sure Dana herself had said in one interview that Darius wants to care about his loved ones but also to help others in general. And you can see it in the show too - Raine says specifically that he was 'protecting' them even though they were not close at the time of ER, Darius laments how 'we' (the rebels) were too late during the DoU, hinting that he always wanted to save the whole Isles ("but he gave up for Eber" you might say, well, my first meta was about what i think of 'Darius easily chose Eber over the Isles' interpretations - Post). So in one way or another he probably would want to help others post canon as well.

Second, he clearly has several interests and, of course, his passion for abominations that he would likely want to continue to persue. He also seems to be quite happy to conduct Raine's ceremony, so he might also enjoy the role of a public figure in general.

And third and probably the most important thing for me, it just fits the narrative of the show better if Darius opens up to other people who are not the closest to him. Yes, found family is great, but it is not the only thing that matters. There are many instances in the series where it is shown how important community is or how its absense is damaging - and not only to the kids but to adult characters too - and i think it is a very deliberate choice, and one of the good things about toh. (And by that i don't mean - and i don't think the show means either - that every character should become an extrovert and completely change personality, or that every character should like and interact with everyone, it can mean different things).

The biggest example is Eda - she starts the show isolated, and while it's not her fault, in season 1 she is, as Luz had put it, individualistic. But through getting to know Luz, Eda not only develops better relationships within her own found family, but she goes from only agreeing to help Bump in the school because it will help Luz and being distantly playfull at best towards other kids, to trying to reach out to Hunter and to mentor Edric in season 2, and finally to opening her own school; she goes from not wanting to free the conformatorium prisoners to saving a wild witch in ER. Yes, the paternalistic conformity of the EC is shown to be bad, but personal isolation and individualism are also not good. And the same happens with others too. The Bat Queen not only opens up to the palisman adoption program but praises the good qualities of the kids when they tell their wishes. Alador improves his relationship with his children, but he also works on using his inventions for the good of the Isles in the epilogue. It is at least implied that if Camila and Luz had bigger support from the adults around them, and Camila had more friends other than her husband to help her, their life after his death would've been easier. Not as noticable with Raine because of how their arc is written (/negative), but it is at least hinted in the ER that their rebellion wasn't very sucessful because of how small it was. This is more headcanon-y, but i can easily see how Lilith's single-minded focus on finding the cure for her sister caused her to ignore the harm done by the EC. And then, of course there are villains like Belos and Odalia whose focus on the family is twisted.

So, i really don't know why Darius's development should go in a different direction and be focused on isolating rather than opening up to more people - in one way or another, it can take different forms, and doesn't mean that he can't be a private person. It doesn't even mean that he must be a public figure (although i think he might be happy in a position like that), he might just sit and write more text books. But I think getting to mentor someone like Willow (not in abominations but in general sense) or Jerbo would be good for him too.

(And tbh with the way Darius's grief over his mentor was twisted into bitterness, and how he seemed to be very much not over his broken friendship with Alador and possibly Odalia (maybe even Raine) for so long, i can see an interpretation where it would be healing for him to learn to expand his circle and through that to learn how to easier let go of his grievances and adjust to change.)

[micahjmarrapodi]

[‘25 Summer Abroad] Theatre Performance Review: Shakespeare's Utterly Ironic Titus Andronicus

For ENGL 350/550, we read Titus Andronicus. For our fourth blog post, we discussed the violence in the play. Last night, our merry band of travelers watched a live performance of Titus Andronicus at the Swan Theatre! We sat in the front row (see the photos below), and I left the theatre with many thoughts. 

In my blog post on the play’s violence, I emphasized its multifaceted nature. I highlighted how two seemingly contradictory things can be true at once: the play is both a commercially driven piece and a pointed social commentary on power, pride, and violence. Having now seen it performed, I believe the entire production can also be interpreted as purely ironic. 

When I first read the play, I listened to it on Audible. (Yes, I know—utterly shameful). For those unfamiliar, one of the most disturbing moments involves Lavinia who is raped, then has her hands cut off and her tongue removed (mercifully, off-stage). In the audiobook version, the lead-up to this assault featured the wicked, gleeful giggling of her attackers. I felt an odd admixture of disgust, fear, and helplessness—and had to turn off the audiobook. 

That said, seeing the play staged was a very different experience. The production felt deliberately raw and unfinished—from the stage design to the acting to the props. There was blood, yes, but not the gruesome realism of a modern war film. Instead, it was reminiscent of a trashy old kung fu movie. The violence was so over-the-top that it felt impossible to take seriously. It seemed as though the production was presenting the play as entirely ironic.

Despite the brutality, the themes of tyranny and power, and the pounding music, I found myself drawn less to the content than to the form. The acting was amazing (although several actors broke character throughout: a young boy stifled a smile and stared at his shoes, and Aaron, Demetrius, and Chiron couldn’t make it through one of their scenes without laughter slipping in). The audience was addressed as if we were the Roman people. The knives functioned more like guns—killing from a distance, as though the stabbing motion extended some invisible force into the victim’s body. Titus’s bat literally had the word “BAT” written on it. The baby was obviously a doll, and its prerecorded cries were hilariously unconvincing, outdone in hilarity only by Lavinia's unbelievable stumps.

I like all those details because I believe it was all intentional. The artists—from the actors to the audio-visual team to the director—seemed determined to break the audience’s immersion. They chose to alienate us from the content precisely because Titus Andronicus turns Lavinia’s horrific suffering (and the play’s many dismemberments and deaths) into a spectacle. By leaning into the absurd, the production forces us to confront the uncomfortable possibility that we are laughing at violence—finding humor in the horrific.

The performance felt self-conscious at every level; it knew it was a performance. Titus Andronicus, I would argue, is deeply ironic—its death, dismemberment, and melodrama delivered sardonically. By preventing the audience from getting fully lost in the narrative with the ostensibly intentionally unfinished production, it redirects our attention to the play as form—a staged and stylized process—not a lived story with characters and plot we’re meant to believe in.

In that way, it reminded me of Quentin Tarantino’s Death Proof (2007), which similarly plays with excessive violence to achieve layered effects. Then again, maybe my experience says more about me than the performance. Perhaps my response was overly intellectual, not emotional. Perhaps I failed to allow myself to be immersed. But I would argue that my inability to become immersed was itself a result of intentional artistic choices: the constant disruptions of disbelief, the comedic undertones (especially in Titus and Aaron), and the deliberately exaggerated gore. It beggars belief that anyone would be immersed in the whole play, and honestly, it beggars belief that anyone would be immersed in the play for more than a minute at a time (e.g., when the female rendition of the Marcus character—Marcia—said of Lavinia to Titus, "This was thy daughter," I found Titus's response incredibly moving—"Why, Marcia, so she is"—as the actor emphasized on the word "is," but Lavinia's unconvincing stumps ripped me right out of the moment). 

Shakespeare wrote a play that reads one way and plays in multiple ways—one of them being deeply ironic. Last night’s performance made that irony unmistakably central. Or maybe, as some unconscious coping mechanism, I did.

@shakespearesengland

@queerandwilde

[sambhavami]

I wanted to ask you this:

How did Krishna's childhood impacted him in his adult life?

How was he as dwarikadhish, what changes he brought to society and pretty much his Philosophy?

Also do you think Uddhava was one of his closest friends, if not the closest friend (he is an underrated character and I need to know more about his relationship with krishna cuz they seem very close)

Thank you!!

Krishna, as we know, grew up in relative poverty, albeit with one of the healthiest family dynamics in all of mythology, despite the dark story lurking behind them always. For starters, Krishna is way more flexible in his policies, with a stronger survival instinct. He puts a stop to the Indra-worship in Vrindavana, and is overall not very adherent to the Vedic prescriptions. But then, we do see him compromising with some of that revolutionary spirit to an extent where one of his main mantras ended up being: 'namo brahmanya devaaya go-braahmana-hitaaya cha...' [from Chaitanya Charitamrita].

We also see, contrary to most kshatriyas of his time, he himself is quite averse to violence. He'd rather secretly assassinate his enemies rather than subject his army (and his enemy's) to an all-out war. Now we can argue as to the morality of those decisions in isolation, but another part of Krishna's philosophy was indeed the 'greater good'. However, at times he does make bigger statements (like Kashi), and there he's unstoppable.

His most controversial decision (apart from the Kurukshetra mess as a whole, but that was mostly life-or-death measures, and controversial sacrifices and decisions are made), was probably when he decided to marry all 16100 women held captive by Naraka. There, he subverts society's treatment of women considered to be 'tainted', by giving them dignity as well as a financial safety net.

In politics, he soon loses faith in the oligarchy in Mathura/Dwarika, and he then chooses to wholeheartedly back Yudhishthira as a benevolent dictator. However, this support doesn't mean he disrespects his own government, in fact he supports the parliaments, sometimes to his own political (and personal) detriment.

Uddhava, one of Krishna's many, many cousins, was one of the ministers serving in the core committee of the Yadava parliament, while Krishna, for the most part, was a minister, along with being kind of the foreign minister as well.

Yes, so they were pretty close, both personally and professionally.

Him being a brahmachaari, Krishna has taken fair advantage of him when they were both younger. Before Arjuna comes along, Uddhava does seem the closest friend of Krishna's (obviously not counting Balarama here). Whenever he visited Kubja, Krishna would take Udhhava along, just so no one would suspect that he was doing anything untoward, and this does result in many awkward nights on Uddhava's part, on the floor of Kubja's living room, surrounded by her overeager ladies, while Krishna does whatever inside. But, he doesn't complain, and I guess that's a pretty good indicator of their friendship.

Then, Krishna also sends him with messages to Vrindavana, probably he knows that he's the only one who would deliver his message, with no additions/subtractions of his own.

He doesn't play as much of a significant role in MB as Satyaki, but he's a constant feature of the accompanying texts at least. He does have a hot temper, probably as a result of the wars with Jarasandha (they all developed some or the other things). He does follow Krishna in most of his non-war endeavours, but it decreases a bit once Arjuna comes along. However, Udhhava is definitely one of Krishna's most trusted.

In the whole timeline, he's usually hanging around somewhere, but mostly in the background. In the end, I think, he retires to the mountains of Badri.

[the-punforgiven]

DBD knight and his squad vs. the original 4 FH knights who wins? (My money is on the FH gang because they actually take care of their gear and they have BOMBS)

I think that kind of depends on when and how the fight goes down tbh

I put way too much thought about this here so for the sake of people who don't care I'm gonna put it under a readmore.

Because like, in DBD, the cosmetics for Knight show that under the influence of The Entity, he can essentially fight forever, with his Draugr skin showing that despite being basically being a walking corpse he can still operate with his full mental faculties and power.

Plus, his Squad that he can summon at will is shown to be spectral, capable of phasing through walls and shit at will, but also becoming physical to interact with shit

However, as implied by the item description for the Enchanted Plates cosmetic, this is only in The Entity's realm. Yes, he is suffused with eldritch power, yes he can fight beyond death, and yes, he can resummon his squad if they are Banished but only in The Entity's Realm, it doesn't have the level of power it does outside of it, and most likely wouldn't be able to imbue Tarhos with the power it does.

However despite this, Tarhos Kovács is still a massive hulking man in heavy armor with a huge sword and considerable battle skills.

Now here's the thing though

For Honor's minions are implied to be like, normal average people. As a result of this every For Honor character, therefore, is fucking huge. Plus like, all of them are really good at fighting In Lore:tm:

So without the help of an eldritch god of suffering, it turns into a 4v4 that's pretty heavily in favor of the For Honor knights, by virtue of them just being bigger, stronger, more heavily armored than 3/4ths of their opposition and just flat-out better equipped than the whole group

However in the entity's realm, with the help of an eldritch god of suffering supporting the shit out of one side of the fight, especially letting Knight resummon his boys, that definitely fucks with the balancing somewhat

But here's the thing

See, For Honor had a crossover event with dbd once upon a time, (I've still got a couple of the cosmetics from it tbh, it was really fun iirc), which, if we take as Part of the Lore, we get to see how the entity operates in the context of a trial where both sides are armed and capable of fighting.

During the crossover, the Trapper was still mortal. He was big, similar in height to Lawbringer and Jiang Jun, and certainly had a lot of health and damage, but he could still be killed. However, the fight between the two teams of players would continue, both teams would keep dying, respawning, and fighting, and eventually The Trapper would return.

Because the entity, deep down, doesn't really care if either side definitely wins. Obviously she prefers if the Killers do, but despite her power she still makes victory and escape possible, because she feeds off that hope. In truth, the entity wants both sides to suffer. She offers extra favors and power to those who kill in her name, but their suffering and anger feeds her just as much as their sacrifices do.

So, while Tarhos and his boys would be much more powerful in The Entity's Realm, the entity would do as it always does, keep them suffering. Keep them killing. Keep them feeding her.

So I think, in a fight between The Knight and his Squad and the original 4 For Honor Knights, in the world of For Honor, the FH knights would come out on top relatively easily

In The Entity's Realm, though, I don't think it'd matter, really. Tarhos would be much stronger, yes, but the nature of the place they're in and the powers involved means that no matter who wins it'd still be a stalemate. They'd just keep fighting, keep killing each other, on and on, forever.

At least that's how I assume it'd go down lol, it's been a good while since that event

[baejax-the-great]

been wanting to write fic for the longest time, but i only really manage to make one shots

so i’m curious - how do you plan/start your fics, especially the long ones? do you ever write scenes that are five chapters ahead or do you write it in order?

thank u.. n i love ur work!!!!

I absolutely write scenes that are five chapters out. Sometimes those are the first scenes I write.

Usually my process starts like this: I think "wouldn't it be funny (or angsty af) if this thing happened?" And then I always say yes, because it would.

The next question is then, what caused that thing to happen, and what are the results (and are they also funny)?

This was actually a big struggle with Sunset In Your Veins. My original thought was just, "lmao, what if Achilles was cold and crying on a street corner. What if he thought it was Hell. What if he tried coffee. What if he wanted to fight the L. What if he stole a dog."

But none of those things is actually a story. Sure, Pat falling in love with him makes it a story, but what are the stakes?

This actually took me weeks to come up with (as I remember it anyway), and meanwhile I was adding more goofiness to Achilles in Chicago, writing whatever struck my fancy. Obviously he thinks the lake is a sea. He's going to LOVe the bean. They definitely have to watch Troy.

The only idea I could really get to work was turning it into a fairy tale. he's in Chicago because Aphrodite thought it would be fun, she's given him a challenge, and if he fails he dies. Also Aphrodite has said this is a "Reboot" so obviously Patroclus has to actually die at the end. This gave the overall fic some structure, and then I could get us from point A to point B in whatever way I found funniest.

I write my entire fics in one document, and when I get a silly idea I want to add to the fic, I add a descriptive header and then write the idea before I forget it. Here are some headers from WitD:

The ideas that are super solid, like Ambrosia, didn't need a lot of description because I knew exactly what was going to happen. The ones with question marks not so much.

I like using these headers because it's easy to skip back and forth to sections and reorder them, and I do this a lot. Like a lot.

I think a common pitfall for early writers is to start a fic because the premise rules, but not know how they are going to explain the premise or resolve the issues that stem from the premise. At least, I had this issue when I first posted longfic.

These days, I will only start posting a fic if I know how the story is going to resolve, and something like 'they live happily ever after' isn't what I mean. I have to know exactly how they are going to get that happily ever after, so in the case of Sunset, Pat's death was written within the first third of of me writing the story. Once I knew I had to get them to that intersection, happy, on the cusp of the deadline, and for Achilles to still be wearing stupid ass shoes, then it was a matter of figuring out *how* to get them there.

What has to happen for two people to fall in love? What has to happen for these two people to decide falling in love is worth it despite the massive cultural differences (and the rest of it)? What would give Aphrodite the most satisfaction with her game? What parts of Chicago/modern life would torture/delight Achilles the most? How will Pat reconcile his two identities? How would Ajax?

In a way, I fill the story in both backward and forward.

HOWEVER. One-shots are awesome. Because sometimes you don't want to world-build or work out the logic of the situation or give everyone a backstory or resolve shit. Sometimes you just have a kick ass scene in your mind and that is good enough.

[plague-karm]

ough I want to see you talk more about Carissa but I love her story and think more people should know about her so I send you an ask and not a dm.

does she have a design? I bet she's so silly

and also I love her name!! sounds like charity in latin!!! :O

Holy FUCK I did not expect this at all lmao, but ye I’ll talk more about her sure :)

She’s heavily based on another character I have from an original story I’m working on but I reworked her here to fit more with Ultrakill :) I can’t draw to save my life BUT I do have a description of what she looks like.

Dark skinned

Doesn’t have a concrete age but physically looks around 30-40 years old

Mid size

Brown eyes

REALLY long blonde hair (it’s hard to maintain but she manages)

Is one of the shorter virtues (Sisyphus TOWERS over her it’s pretty funny actually)

Wears white dresses, starts wearing more pale yellows while with Sisyphus, starts wearing black during the divorce arc and after his death :(

She doesn’t show it but she feels pretty pressured a lot of the time, she feels like a lot of gods responsibilities lie on her and her sisters now that he’s gone (even though they technically don’t have to since they live above heaven and enact their duties either way) she’s one of the only creations of his that he was PROUD of, to the point where he believed her and her sisters deserved better than the heavens, even if he wasn’t here physically she wanted to make him proud…wherever he was. Her pet rabbits were also a gift from him, they’re all white and fluffy.

She has a familial relationship with the rest of the heavenly virtues (they regard themselves as a sisterhood) and confided in them frequently over the wine stash one of them kept hidden in one of their sanctuaries. They obviously never found out about her secret relationship…if the DID however…the gossip would be through the ROOF. They would ask all sorts of questions and Carissa would be mortified, yet she’d answer them anyway because she knows they’re all looking out for her.

As a side note, the reason she takes a human form is because she spends a lot of her time greeting the dead as they enter heaven due to earth slowly becoming more and more inhabitable as a result of the final war, and she wants them to be greeted by something warm and familiar opposed the the strife and famine they suffered on earth. She’s taken this form for so long that she sometimes forgets that it’s not her true one. Sisyphus is the only hell dweller that’s actually seen it, he’s a fan to put it lightly.

Her and Gabriel met a LONG time before she met the kings and the two were very close, often confiding in one another regarding their insecurities and fears. She became distant from him during the councils formation, his once charismatic and cheery demeanour was slowly wilting away and there was nothing she could do about it.

She feels a great deal of empathy for the world god had left them all in, she felt awful for everyone, but she wasn’t sure of what to do. She often comforts new souls entering heaven from the final war with her plant magic and her rabbits as their purpose is similar to hers, it always works.

She used to have similar beliefs regarding hell (the council 100% spread propaganda to make sure no one challenged them) before her faithful venture, believing that everyone who ended up there was there for a good reason, but that obviously changed when she saw The Lust Renaissance.

Personality wise she’s very gentle and caring, embodying her virtue to a fault (just like how god would want her to be), but through the influence of outer forces she gains a bit more perspective and a sense of humour. It’s a bit awkward since she’s still getting used to talking in a way that’s less formal and more herself but hey she’s getting there.